alllnight:

if i die and people post statuses about me on facebook and act like they knew me or were nice to me i will come back and fucking murder them

(via laughing-llama)

lameborghini:

why do people expect so much of me i still have to use a calculator to find what 6 times 8 is

(via laughing-llama)

andsoheismyjohn:

fancifullauren:

lonelywhiteasian:

nippush:

once a gecko fell into my shirt and i screamed like a girl

once a girl fell into my shirt and i screamed like a gecko

once a shirt fell into my girl and I geckoed like a scream

once a scream fell into my gecko and i girled like a shirt

(via laughing-llama)

scarygay:

noblefetus:

im lying on the cold hard ground

hoW DOES THIS HAVE OVER 200 FUCKING NOTES

OH MY GOD

(via laughingnancy)

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE LIFE CHOICES I STILL COUNT USING MY FINGERS

AND I SING THE WHOLE ALPHABET TO SEE WHAT LETTER COMES NEXT

I STILL HOLD UP BOTH HANDS AND MAKE AN L SHAPE TO REMIND MYSELF OF LEFT AND RIGHT

I STILL HAVE TO THINK OF AN ALLIGATOR EATING THE BIGGER NUMBER TO USE THE < AND > SYMBOLS.

this website is a collection of life’s rejects

(via laughing-llama)

majortvjunkie:

calling my tears Netflix because they are streaming

(via sassylemon)

ninaeatspants said:
I wonder how long it'll take until you notice these.

ninaeatspants said:
What if one day the police came to your door with a search warrant and you were like oh no I have 8 gallons of marijuana and then you flushed It down the toilet and then the person at the poo patrol place sees this substance and is like oh no that's illegal and tracks down where that came from from what pipe it came out of and then the police come with this poo poo marijuana and they're like IS THIS YOURS?